So a month after I didn’t know what to do about all things tri in my little bubble I have come to the realisation that most of what I wrote was a little out of context.
Its easier now to say, with a bit of perspective that coming on the back of completing the Monster middle in 5:27 I shouldn’t have actually been to disheartened with the result. Given the lack of focus, training or stable eating pattern (all my own doing) and some prolong health issues, I was never going to be pulling up any trees or troubling a time closer to the 5hr mark which I have developed an unhealthy desire for.
Granted the course is deemed fast (wind aside) but now I look back, knowing how utterly drained I was at the end with a more rounded view of the result, in what turned out to be my last triathlon of the year. Its fair to say I havent been much of a triathlete this year as i think I have only done 4 (leeds, chlom, keswick, monster) which is probably my lowest since I started.
Perspective is a wonderful thing, as is expectation and desire. Often they work together hand in hand to propel you to do things you never thought possible, sometimes they fight like little caped superheros for control – maybe a version of the angel and devil on the shoulder, a fine balance between meaning you do something amazing or failing spectacularly at something that, looking back, you would never be able to do.
I have settled on the notion that I struggle to keep them all in control in a perfect 33.33% balance. An example being watching from afar the craziness that goes on at the brutal triathlon events in Snowdonia a couple of weeks ago.
If you asked me, when I was in a good positive mood if I wanted to do it (no one has asked, my wife would kill me if I entered that) I would have said yes. I would judge that being perspective 10%, expectation 10%, desire 80%. In other words my caped superhero called desire (dressed I imagine in some sort of sexy castelli esq lryca) would trance the other two into submission despite me clearly lacking the basic requirements to finish such an event.
After time when I pondered the thought of doing the double ironman, voted one of the toughest in the world, that percentage would have been more like perspective 80%, expectation 10%, desire 10%, with perspective making a WWE style come back from the floor to take control, in just some ill fitting pants. Utterly crushing my desire or expectation to take up the challenge.
Granted I would assume a reasonable person would say that given a year of focused training and a proper build up to it, losing more weight, hitting the hills all the time, I might just about be able to complete the event at a push in an appalling time.
But I think that’s the problem isn’t it – if you overthink things you would never try. Like entering my first 10k or my first baby etape or my first sprint tri – all seemed utterly crazy when I set out to do them, but for some reason desire took over, i stepped off the cliff so to speak and I gave a nondescript website my credit card details.
The same thing has happened since the monster. In-fact it has happened twice in terms of events and once in terms of long term support. With a few ideas for something completely new to me and completely out of my comfort zone.
I wont bore you with my plans for next year, but like a phoenix rising from the sweaty ashes of a failed ironman attempt I am planning on 2017 to be the best yet and this bad boy bike is going to see alot more miles and alot more smiles.
Perspective 100%, Desire 100%, Expectation 100% – on the assumption that an overpaid footballer who doesn’t really care gives 110% I figure I can give 300%
(One thing perspective is good for is looking back though;
alot can happen in 4 years)