let’s be honest, up front from the start.
Things happen, not all good not all bad but they happen all the same. my memory is poor so I dont know how I used to cope with things when they did happen to me.
Despite my poor memory, which makes me finishing CIMA a massive miracle, I remember summertime 2011.
The summer I lost my mind, I lost my sense of direction and almost lost the two most important people in my life.
The blame for this rests solely at my feet, my wife and adorable 2 yr old daughter didn’t do anything. I am honest enough and man enough to state in black and white that I at that point was failing as a husband and as father.
I don’t write the above with ease or without the understanding of what those words actually mean. I was miserable. I was unhelpful. I was unhappy. I didn’t know what I wanted and couldn’t place why I felt like I felt.
I look back now and i am ashamed of how i was, how i acted, the man I was.
My frustrations, my anger, my unhappiness all was linked to an unnerving and never ending battle with my weight and the fact that I couldn’t control it.
I have always had issues with my weight, I was the fat kid in school, I was the fat kid in sixth form, I was the fat friend everyone had.
By fat, if i am being honest here, which is my intention; I mean 24 stone, size 54 inch jeans morbidly obese.
i have lost weight in the past, put the effort in, stuck to diets. Shifted bits and pieces and gradually let it slip back on over time.
By the time I went to university on the back of a trip to Australia I was around 18 stone and stayed that way till I finished uni and had a spell in south east Asia where I dropped to 16.5 stone.
In the 6 years since then I put back on the majority if that weight; I was 21 stone and unhappy.
Now the reason I start with a negative ( plus a history lesson) is that this year 2012 I have learnt to turn the vast majority of negatives into a positive.
I am not sure what the tipping point was, what pushed me over the edge or what led me to that moment when I drove away from my family home uncertain if It would ever be able MY family home again.
As I say my memory is poor, borderline Vegetable, but we got through things; my angel like wife stood by me and gave me time to work through the issues I had in my head.
Jump forward 12 months; My marriage is now stronger than it has ever been, my daughter is blossoming into a gorgeous strong minded girl with the world at her feet.
My career has taken off, I have passed exams, i have finished CIMA, doubled my salary, lost over 4 stone and am already busy planning challenges for next year.
If I keep this blog up then I promise these messages won’t be as full of sorrow as the above.
I just thought, that if I was going to do this then I should give a back ground history to who I am.